Bed of Lies
by cassie-b-17
Summary: Having been married at 17, Haley finds that she has built her life around Nathan. When their marriage unravels, Haley struggles to find herself, while Nathan realizes that they’d built their lives around each other. NHBL
1. Goodbye to You

Hey guys, I've posted this story on another website, and decided to start posting it here as well.

Summary: Having been married at 17, Haley finds that she has built her life around Nathan. When their marriage unravels, Haley struggles to find herself, while Nathan realizes that they'd built their lives around each other. NH/BL

Rating: PG for now.

Warning: Haley / Other character

Chapter 1: Goodbye to You (Michelle Branch)

_Of all the things I've believed in  
I just want to get it over with  
Tears form behind my eyes  
But I do not cry  
Counting the days that pass me by_

She sat on the leather couch, flipping through her novel, not really absorbing the words on the pages. Occasionally, her eyes drifted to the clock hanging on the opposite wall. The clock that had steadily ticked away the seconds of her young life. But she would force her eyes back to the book that she wasn't reading. It was, her eyes deduced, precisely 2:27 am. Nothing. He sure as hell wasn't home, and he sure as hell hadn't called her. Not that she was surprised. But disappointed… yes, that was it. Of course, that was to be expected. She had always been one of those girls who believed in happily ever after, believed in true and everlasting love. She was a hopeless romantic… always left devastated in the end, because she had been so preoccupied with the idealism of her life, that she'd deliberately ignored the problems until reality hit her. Hard. She clenched her hands tightly, as she felt the lump forming in her throat. Angrily, she refused to let the tears fall. After all, she'd already wasted too many days of her life, given up too much of her dreams for _him._ She wasn't going to let anything else be wasted on someone who clearly didn't care.

_I've been searching deep down in my soul  
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old  
It feels like I'm starting all over again  
The last three years were just pretend_

Sighing heavily, she closed the book firmly, allowing her eyes to drift to what she had been avoiding looking at all night. No, not the clock, but the neat stack of papers perched on the edge of the glass coffee table. She picked them up, letting her eyes scan the sheets, making sure that no mistakes had been made, and that everything was covered. When she was satisfied, she put them back down where they had been. She'd arranged to have the papers delivered to her the week before. It had taken a good deal of contemplation and reflection to come to this conclusion. To sort through the jumble of memories in her head, remembering all the things he'd said to her. Deducing the truth from the lies. And now… now it was over. She would swallow her pride. If he didn't call her, she'd call him.

"Yup." She could practically hear the smirk in his voice. The one that used to make her knees melt. Still did. But that was no longer the issue. Because she could also hear the feminine giggle, no doubt from whatever clueless whore he was groping that night.

"Nathan." Her voice came across, clear, strong, and cool. Independent, as it hadn't sounded since the beginning of their marriage.

"Hey babe." She could actually picture what was happening. He was probably driving., his hand having been somewhere on the body of the body next to him. He would be pulling away now, as he realized it was his wife. Guilt would flicker across the stormy blue of his eyes, a look she'd become all too familiar with identifying.

"Where are you?"

The question was blunt. She had no time for his games.

"Me and some of the guys went out after the game. I'm sorry I'm so late." She was amazed at how easily the lie seemed to roll of his tongue. Of course… it definitely wasn't the first time he'd told her that particular lie. He really did seem to be believing that she was actually that stupid now.

"Oh? Which of _the guys_ has started to laugh like, oh, shall we say, a twenty year old cheerleader?" She immediately regretted those words. She hadn't wanted to come across like the scorned wife, jealous of the other woman. Or perhaps, women. But, in her situation, she supposed their wasn't much dignity to be salvaged anyway.

"Haley." She hated the way he said her name. Always a mixture between a verbal caress, adoration, love. It broke her to know that he was no longer true. "I'm not with another woman." She heard another muffled giggle in the background.

Her blood boiled.

"I'm not stupid Nathan." She voiced quietly, but firmly. There was no answer on the other line.

"Don't do this Haley." His voice was a plea after several moments of silence.

"I didn't." She spat out, bitterly. "I was the one who gave up all my dreams for you. Harvard, Stanford, Yale… because I loved you. I gave you everything I had, Nathan. You know, you always hear about these women, crying on about how their husband traded them in for a younger model. I never thought that would be me. I guess I beat them all though, because they were at least in their thirties. My husband traded me in for a younger model, and I'm only twenty." She laughed, an ugly sound.

"I…"

"Don't even try defending yourself Nathan, because I don't want to hear it. I just wanted to call to let you know I'm leaving. Frankly, I'm no longer interested in what you have to say, because you clearly couldn't care less about the three years of my life that I threw away on you. If you have any respect for what we had… the divorce papers are on the coffee table. You can sign them and send them to my lawyer. I've left his address for you on the table."

She hung up, before he could say anything else. Before he could break through the façade, and hear the tears and pain in her voice.

_I still get lost in your eyes  
And it seems that I can't live a day without you  
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away  
To a place where I am blinded by the light  
But it's not right_

She took time for one last walk through the house… the house that had been her dream home. She and Nathan had once made love in every room during their first month there. She had dreamed that their children would run through these halls, filling the house with laughter. It had been for those dreams that she had held on to the shreds of her marriage for so long. She'd never believed that she could live without Nathan. Even now, when he'd broken her, his eyes, his smile, his face, his voice haunted her. Made her heart beat faster. Made her knees weak. But it was no longer enough to drive away the pain he'd planted deep within her. Lost in her thoughts, she didn't realize she'd made a full circle of her house. She was back in the living room.

_And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time  
I want what's yours and I want what's mine  
I want you  
But I'm not giving in this time_

She slid the golden band from her ring finger., and set it down on top of the divorce papers. Slowly, she picked up the luggage at the door, and headed out without looking back. She would be okay.

_And I said,_

_Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything that I knew  
You were the one I loved  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to_


	2. If You're Gone

Flashbacks - are italicized

Warnings: PG-13, language

Ch. 2 - If You're Gone (Matchbox Twenty)

_I think I've already lost you  
I think you're already gone  
I think I'm finally scared now  
You think I'm weak - but I think you're wrong  
I think you're already leaving  
Feels like your hand is on the door  
I thought this place was an empire  
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure_

"What are you doing Nathan?" He glanced at the girl sitting next to him. She was nineteen, and as his wife had so accurately predicted, a cheerleader. Golden waves swinging down slightly past her shoulder blades, a soft smile. Nathan had fallen hard for Hannah the moment she'd joined the dance squad at the start of the year. Something wasn't right though. He was falling in love with Hannah, while he was still very much in love with his wife. But gradually, Hannah seemed to push through, blocking out the guilty thoughts about his wife.

"I've just gotta… check up on something." He muttered. Hannah watched as he bolted from the car and up the path to the large house. She bit her lip nervously. If it came down to picking between her and his wife, she was pretty much sure that Nathan would pick her now. But you could never be sure. She watched as he fumbled with his key before letting himself into the house. He closed the door. She closed her eyes and waited.

* * *

It was as he expected. The house was empty. Her belongings gone. Nathan leaned back against the wall, even as his eyes fell on the glass coffee table. More accurately, the small stack of papers perched neatly on the corner. In two swift strides, he dropped himself heavily onto the leather couch. It was as he reached for the stack that he noticed the golden band sitting on top of them. He almost choked at the sense of finality that was left by that simple ring. Sobs threatened to overtake his body as he picked it up.

* * *

_He slipped the ring onto her slender finger, as his eyes memorized the details of her face. She was biting her lip nervously, but he could see the smile in her eyes. Her eyes looked up to meet his, and he knew he'd be alright. She was his salvation. As the priest blessed them man and wife, he pulled her gently towards him, and he whispered his undying love to her just before he kissed her sweetly on the lips. __

* * *

_

Nathan set the ring down gently on the coffee table, glancing at the identical one on his left ring finger. He tore his eyes away from the wedding bands and refocused on the sheets in his hand. She'd tabbed all the sheets where he had to sign, and highlighted the lines. It was just like her, fastidious, meticulously gone over. He had no doubt she'd checked them to make sure everything was in order. He scanned the pages, feeling a dull ache in his chest each time he saw her flowing signature scrawled across a line. He came to the last page of the stack, and noticed it was a piece of lined paper. He closed his eyes at the feeling of nausea that overtook him as her loopy handwriting stared him in the face.

_Nathan,_

_I've attached my lawyer's business card. I've also left you the wedding band. I don't really care what you do to it. You can melt it into something else, or give it to whoever you find next. I want you to know that I do not regret any moment of our marriage, but I need you to understand that I can no longer be the wife who is there only when you need her. I realized it wasn't fair to either of us for me to keep hanging on to a relationship which you clearly no longer valued. It was difficult for me to acknowledge that I was no longer enough for you. I'm heading back home to sort things out, but I would appreciate it if you didn't contact me in the future. _

_Haley James_

Before he realized it, the piece of paper was crumpled into a ball in the palm of his hand.

* * *

"This better be important."

Nathan winced at the voice, and wondered if he was doing the right thing.

"Brooke."

"Nathan."

There was a silence.

"Where is she Brooke?"

"Where is she who?" Nathan grimaced. He could practically see the feigned, wide-eyed innocence plastered across his soon-to-be sister-in-law's face. He didn't answer, knowing the bite would come soon enough. "Oh… you must mean your wife. Oops, my bad. Your _ex-wife_."

"Brooke."

"Oh, did I offend you? Well that's too bad Nathan. It's not my fault you're such a jackass."

Nathan leaned his head back against the couch as he contemplated hanging up on Brooke. But before he could figure out what would happen, the front door opened.

"Nathan? What are you doing?" It was Hannah.

"Who the f uck is that Nathan?" Brooke sounded furious. Nathan figured that he probably would be dead if they were having a real life conversation. "Oh let me guess. You brought your little skank to your house, just two hours after your wife left it. Real classy Nathan. Lucas better pray he doesn't have the same genes as you."

_Click._

She'd hung up on him. And Nathan knew that by now, Haley was probably somewhere in Tree Hill.

* * *

"Hannah, what are you doing in here?" He asked tiredly.

Her eyes drifted around the living room, noticing the golden band sitting on the table. "Did you get me a ring?" She asked excitedly, reaching for it.

The image of the ring on Haley's hand flashed through Nathan's mind, and he snatched it away before she could grab it. "Don't touch it." He snapped more harshly than he'd intended to.

Her big blue eyes welled up with tears. "Fine. I'll be in the car." She whirled around and stormed out, slamming the door behind her like a petulant little child.

Nathan sighed, and before he could stop himself, _Haley would never have done that_.

He shook his head. He'd screwed up royally, and it was too late to go comparing Hannah with Haley now. He stood, looking around the room. Hannah could wait a few more minutes. He climbed the stairway wearily, flicking on the light before he entered their bedroom.

The walk in closet was empty, all her dresses gone. He opened the drawers, already expecting them emptied. They were. The vanity was cleared of all her belongings. Above the bed, hung a large portrait. His hands were wrapped around her slender waist, and they were smiling at each other adoringly. Their wedding portrait. The bed… was as always, neatly made. The bed they'd made love in so many times… mocking him with its neatness.

_

* * *

Nathan's breath caught in his throat as Haley's hand pulled loose the last tie on the dress. The silk slid off over her smooth curves, falling noiselessly to the floor. She stood before him, offering herself to him. His hands grazed her cheeks. Their lips met, and his hands slid slowly down to remove her undergarments, leaving her completely vulnerable to him. She moaned softly as his hands set fire to her body, slowly urging her to ecstasy. Her eyes fluttered open. "I love you Nathan." He smiled at her gently. "I love you too." And then they'd jumped off the edge together.

* * *

_

Even as he remembered the first time they'd made love, Nathan found himself to be breathing heavily, slightly aroused by the memory of her. "D amn it." He cursed under his breath.

He hurried out of the house, eager to be rid of all the haunting memories. The house was too empty for his liking. He'd never been in the house alone before. She'd always been there, with her contagious laughter, or the sound of her soft singing. He rushed back down the stairs into the living room, where his eyes fell first upon the leather couch. His cheeks flushed as he remembered what they'd done there as well. There was no way he could be in the house. Everything reminded him of her. But his eyes caught the glint of the ring on the table. He stared at it for a moment, before pocketing it. He left the divorce papers there.

* * *

Haley stared, wide eyed at Brooke, as her best friend slammed the phone down.

"What did you just say?" She managed to whisper.

Brooke bit her lip as she glanced at her best friend, sitting so vulnerably on the couch.

"Nothing?" Brooke tried.

"Nice try tigger." Haley gave a weak laugh. "She was in... in our house?"

Brooke nodded, wanting to strangle her fiance's brother.

Silent tears fell down Haley's cheeks.

Brooke pulled her best friend into a tight hug.

Haley had shown up forty five minutes earlier, Louis Vuitton luggage in hand.

* * *

_"Are you here to visit Hales?! You should've let me know earlier!" She'd chided her best friend playfully. But then she'd noticed the puffy redness of Haley's eyes._

_"I've left Nathan." Haley said abruptly, as Brooke's eyes searched her face._

_Brooke had pulled her best friend into her apartment, where Haley had broken down and told her everything. By the end of it, Brooke was ready to kill Nathan Scott._

* * *

"How could he Brooke? He brought her back with him?" Haley whimpered brokenly. Yes... she could do without him, but... did he have to do such a heartless thing so soon? She'd half hoped that he would come after her, although, she was sure she wouldn't take him back.

Just then, the doorbell rang.

Brooke jumped up, and opened the door revealing Lucas.

"Hey, cheery. Ready to go?"

Brooke bit her lip. She'd forgotten all about her date with Lucas. "Umm... broody. Hi. Would you be really upset if I took a raincheck?"

He looked confused. "What? Why? You were so excited. Brooke, I've made reservations and everything!"

Brooke peered back into her apartment, where Haley was sitting alone. "Something came up Luke. I'm sorry. It's important."

His eyes narrowed. "Who's in there with you Brooke?"

That hit a nerve. "Are you accusing me of cheating on you?" She spat out.

"I don't know." Lucas said sarcastically.

"It doesn't run in my family. Not like yours." Brooke shot back.

Lucas gaped at her. "What did you just say?"

At the precise same moment, Haley called out, "Who's at the door Brooke?"

Lucas glanced at his fiancee. "Is that Haley?"

Brooke leaned her forehead against the door frame.

"Yes."

"What's she doing here?" Lucas asked confused. "Is Nathan here too?"

Brooke bit her lip before she let the secret out. It wasn't hers to tell.

"You'd better come in and ask Haley yourself."


	3. Ways and Means

_If I lied you'd know it instantly_

_So I just had to look away_

_All the honesty I've ever lost_

_I can't begin to even curse_

_I never knew the taste of blood till now_

_It's clear I never should have known_

_Breathing fire was never this much fun_

_So there's a dark side in us all_

- Snow Patrol

"You left him? By cell phone?"

Lucas looked stunned. Haley looked at her brother-in-law blankly. "Yes."

Lucas frowned. Well, this was one bloody fine mess. He couldn't believe Haley had just left Nathan like that.

"You left him." He repeated.

Brooke glared at her fiance. "Of course she left him, you numbskull. He was icheating/i on her. Anyone could see he wasn't good enough for her."

Lucas' temper flared up. His twin brother not good enough? "Well maybe if you'd tried to work things out..." He started.

Haley's blood was boiling. She had done nothing wrong. As far as she was concerned, she was the innocent party here. "Tried? It's a little difficult to itry/ito fix a marriage when the other person is off screwing his little skank!"

Lucas opened his mouth, but felt Brooke's nails digging into his arm. "I think you'd better leave, Lucas. It's clear that you, like your brother, don't value marriage the way it should be." Lucas gaped as Brooke pushed him out of the door. He turned around to protest, but stopped when he noticed her eyes were tearing up. "Here." She fumbled with something, shoving it into his hand. "You're not the guy I fell in love with." She shut the door gently.

Lucas stared down at his hand in shock. It was a white gold engagement ring.

Nathan opened the door, revealing a dishevelled Lucas standing there.

"Hey."

Lucas surveyed him. "You look like s hit."

Nathan chuckled dryly. "That makes two of us then."

Lucas pushed past him. "It's all your fault though."

Nathan shook his head confused. "What do you mean?"

Lucas tossed an object on the table, before burying his face in his hands. Nathan took a closer look to see the ring.

"What is that?"

"A ring dumbass."

"Is that…"

"Yeah. She left me because I suggested that Haley didn't try to work things out."

"Well you were wrong."

Lucas, by now, was angry. "I was just standing up for you man!"

Nathan shook his head at his brother. "I know, and I appreciate that Lucas. But this was my mistake, and now you've gone and lost the best thing in your life because of it. I know we were always alike… but I'd say we've beaten out everyone else."

"What do you mean?"

"Both of us have lost the best thing that ever happened to us." Nathan muttered as he looked out the window.

"So, who's the girl?"

Nathan looked up to meet Lucas' gaze. "I don't want to talk about her."

Haley lay, tossing and turning, on the queen sized bed in Brooke's guest room. She couldn't sleep. She wrapped the blankets around her tightly, trying to drown out the thoughts buzzing around in her head. What was he doing now? Was he with her? Were there more than one? Were they nameless? She couldn't stop the tears that welled up in her eyes, as she was finally alone to survey the wreckage that was her marriage. A sudden buzzing broke in her thoughts before she could really delve deep into the mess.

_Nate_.

The screen flashed. She stared at her cell phone for a moment, deliberating. She could answer it. Answer it, demand answers, scream at him, curse him. Or… the thought was tempting… she could simply hang up. Cut him off. God knew he deserved it. But she was never one to stoop to other people's levels. She always took the high road, even if it left her hurt in the end.

Sighing, she reached for the phone.

"Hello?" Her voice was barely above a soft whisper. She couldn't raise her voice any higher, for fear of giving away too much emotion.

"Haley?" His voice was tired, cracking, much like the night he'd come to her after he'd collapsed from the drugs he'd been taking. There it was again, a flash of a better time, when she'd been his saving grace.

She bit her lip. "I thought I asked you not to call."

"I couldn't."

His voice was raw, full of emotion, as she hadn't heard in months. He'd been too busy for her. A scathing thought slipped through her mind… _too busy with another._

"Just like you couldn't keep our marriage vows." There was no accusation. Simply a blunt, truthful statement. It cut Nathan deeper than any tear-filled recrimination could have.

"I'm sorry Hales."

"Don't call me that." Her voice was curt.

"I never meant to-"

"Don't tell me that Nathan. You knew d amn well what you were doing." Her voice had risen a little, pushed by the brimming irritation of his pathetic lack of understanding. "What do you want Nathan? Do you even know? Because all I want right now, is some peace. Some time away from you, and your lies. God, Nathan. I gave you everything I had… and I don't even know which parts of it were real."

"Haley." Even now, as he was pleading with her, the way his voice caressed her name made her shiver. It was now or never. She had to find out. _But yet… it seemed so degrading to be asking_.

"Were there more than one?"

"What?" He sounded startled.

"How many women did you cheat with? Were they nameless flings? Or was there just one? "

There was silence. She could hear his heavy, ragged breathing on the line.

She knew she'd hit the nail. But she had to hear him say it. "Nathan. I deserve to know if you were just sleeping around, because I wasn't good enough," – he winced at the crude words – "or if someone actually took you away from me."

Deep within, she was wishing, hoping, that they'd been nameless flings.

"There was only one."

And her heart shattered all over again. Someone… some girl, had managed to steal away the love of her life. Her soulmate. Even now, she had no doubt that Nathan was her soul mate. How was that possible?

"Who is she?" She asked weakly.

Nathan knew that this was killing her. Could imagine the large brown doe eyes filled with pain. "Don't do this to yourself Haley." He implored.

"Don't you dare say that again!" She shrieked, no longer able to control her emotions. "You did this Nathan. You. You ruined our marriage… my life! And you know, as well as I do, that I _deserve_ some f ucking answers."

"Hannah."

Haley closed her eyes. She felt sick. She actually knew who the girl was. "The new cheerleader?"

"Yes."

Haley scoffed. "You always liked blondes. Is she smart Nathan? Does she have brains? Neurons? Would she give up her dreams to follow yours, even if you busted a knee and couldn't play anymore? What does she give you that I didn't?" Haley was sobbing now, openly.

"Haley…."

"Answer me Nathan! Because I want to know what it was that took you away from me. So the next time I won't make the same mistakes again."

Nathan's throat tightened. "Next time?"

Haley laughed. Nathan shuddered at the sound. He'd always loved her laugh… sweet, gentle. Now it sounded maniacal, harsh. "Of course, Nathan. You think I'm going to sit here and pine away for the man who threw me away? Answer me Nate. Are you in love with her?"

Brooke watched from the doorway, as her best friend dissolved into hysteria. Grimacing, as she felt her heart break for the broken girl sitting on the bed, Brooke walked over to Haley, wrapping one arm around her shoulder.

She pressed her lips against her best friend's hair, trying to calm her, her other hand gently wrenching the phone away from Haley's grip, as Haley collapsed against Brooke, weeping hopelessly.

"Nathan." Brooke's voice was tired. She had no time to be evil towards Nathan. And as much as she hated him for doing this, she knew that deep down, he loved Haley.

"Brooke." His voice was quiet, defeated. "Is … is she ok?"

"What do you think? For God's sake, Nathan, you had no right to call her in the middle of the night. I'm begging you, if you ever loved her, just leave her alone."

"I can't Brooke. I can't let her go."

"You already did." She said simply. "Don't call anymore. She's a mess, and she doesn't need you pushing her over the edge anymore than you already have. She'll come to you when she's ready."

"What if that never happens?" Nathan's voice was small, fearful, as Brooke had never heard it.

"You should've thought of that before. Goodbye Nathan." Brooke hung up, tossing the phone onto the nightstand. Sighing, she wrapped her arms around Haley's shuddering frame, too busy with her best friend's problem, to deal with her own broken heart.

_I just wanna talk to you again,  
Wanna get back to the place where I fit in.  
Can't believe you're askin' what I'd always thought you knew:  
How my life would be without you._

If this world should ever stop spinnin' 'round,  
If the stars should fall to pieces and tumble to the ground,  
If a thousand children's voices sang but I never heard the sound;  
That's how empty life would be if you should leave me now.

Sometimes it's hard to find the words,  
And it's too late to take them back once you've been heard.  
When I hear you cry it tears me up inside,  
'Cause then I realize

If the world should ever stop spinnin' 'round,  
If the stars should fall to pieces and tumble to the ground,  
If a thousand children's voices sang but I never heard the sound;  
That's how empty life would be if you should leave me now.

Too many times I should have told you,  
But my pride kept gettin' in the way.  
Just the thought of living life without you  
Was just too much, was just too much for me to take.


End file.
